so here i am with a lot of free time on my hands and that gives me a lot of time to think. i graduate in one year and i have to make the choice in this next year about where i want to live. i have a couple of options.
option 1: i can stay here and find a roommate and a job in minneapolis. i love minneapolis and all the people i've met and my church.
option 2: i can go back to mississippi. my family is there and a lot of friends.
option 3: i can just move to some random place and start my life over.

i'm leaning towards 1 or 2 but its just a hard decision. there are good and bad things about each of them. part of me thinks it might be a good idea to just go somewhere new. who knows.

in other news...i'm in a wedding tomorrow and tonight is the rehearsal dinner so i should probably go finish getting ready.

summer is here...classes are done. thank God. two weeks of craziness. heh i was so stressed out and tired that i actually yelled at my roommate and threw something (not at her just threw it) and well i'm not an angry person ever really. i just got done working doing some caterings with the cafeteria which has been my life the last two days and now i have like 4 days to do what i want to do before working again. i'm happy. i'm going shopping tonight to buy summer clothes and taking my friend whos going to china shopping too. i'm so relieved. still super tired though.

so now i have to figure out what to do with my summer. i'll have a lot of free time. it'll be great! but eventualy i'll get bored.

ok i think its nap time now.

ever have one of those days where you feel like nothing else bad could happen to you without just falling apart? today is it for me. my mom found out she has a tumor the size of a tennis ball on her thyroid...not sure if its cancer or not yet. that news will come in the morning. my mouth is killing me from my root canal i had this monday. i'm getting a cold. i overslept and was late to work. and my grandpa died (my real dad's dad). can it get any worse? i guess it could. i hope not though. grrrr.

so in a little less than a week i will be turning 21. its kind of crazy how fast time has gone by. i feel like it was just yesterday that i was just a little girl without a care in the world and having joint birthday parties every year with my big sister. but here i am...21...a year and a half away from graduating from college...have had a boyfriend for 10 months now...and am becoming more and more independent. i'm pretty happy with where i am in my life for once. i decided this year the best thing for me to do would be to stay away from "home" and just stayed up here on campus in minneapolis. i'm moved into my first apartment. i no longer have to deal with all the drama that comes along with living with my mom. don't get me wrong i love my mom and i miss her...but i just decided i'd had enough i guess. i'm happy here. my boyfriend is only a couple of hours away (compared to the 17 hours away he'd be if i went home to mississippi) and he has been really good to me :) , i'm working 3 different jobs but i'm paying my own rent and bills, i have an awesome church full of awesome kids that are truly a blessing to me i've had so much fun teaching them and hanging out and getting to know them, and i have some awesome friends here. so life is good. of course it has its challenges. i do miss all of my friends from mississippi a lot...i haven't been home since christmas and the way my finances are looking i won't be going home till christmas again. but life goes on :).

last night i spent my night at church helping out with a kids overnighter...and i just have to say that kids make me laugh a lot. i learned that red rover is a dangerous game. about 8 kids got hurt...i became nurse holly and bandaged several people up...convinced one girl that her bone was not sticking out of her arm (that that was just how her arms were)...convinced another little girl that she did not have a concussion and later convinced her older sister that her sister was not going to die when she went to sleep because of her "concussion"...and sat with a boy while he recovered from getting kicked in the side. all of these injuries from one game of red rover. this little girl named reba came back outside and she comes up to me and says "i had to go inside to get a drink of water...my mouth was so hot...it was like 10 degrees!" i laughed. kids say funny things. my girls were afraid to go to sleep...or the floor was too hard...one girl woke up crying...the rest were "whispering" and laughing...i slept maybe an hour or maybe 2 at the most. i have this weird thing where i can't sleep during the day so i'm like exhausted but can't sleep right now. blah.

ok so i'm gonna go lay in bed now and watch tv and maybe (hopefully) fall asleep for awhile. adios.

so its been quite awhile since i've actualy taken the time to write anything on here. almost 6 months actually i think. kind of crazy. the past several months have been very busy. i've been busy doing lots of homework and papers and working in the cafeteria and doing a lot of stuff at my church. its been fun. some of it not so fun but thats ok. me and dan have been dating almost 6 months now. its been a good 6 months...its had its rough times as any relationship does but overall i guess it has been good. i get to see him in about 9 days and i get to go meet all of his family for the first time too so that should be fun. i'm pretty excited (and nervous) about it but it'll be good. i need a break really bad too. then after easter break there are just 3 weeks left in this semester. i can't believe i am almost done with my THIRD year of college...seems like yesterday i was in high school. hmm so i really need to figure out where i'm going to live this summer...i don't want to go home. i want to go stay around madison where my boyfriend is but its too expensive...i might just stay here in minneapolis. who knows. heh i don't have too long to figure it out though.

so spring is finaly here...and i am so excited. today i went outside with one of my roommates and sat in the park studying and it was AMAZING the sunshine and the warm weather makes me happy. i love the snow but i am so glad its springtime. a group of people in the caf today were singing "let it snow let it snow let it snow" and i wanted to go find them and be like "nooooo!!!" but i didnt...umm other exciting news of the day is that maintenance people finally came and fixed our door it was falling off the hinges...it was getting really hard to shut it and now it opens and closes really easily and its soooo great.

anyways i need to get back to reading my adolescence textbook and learn all about families and parenting adolescents...yay.

so...i have my very first boyfriend now. he is great. we actualy met a year ago online hes from a few hours away from me and he came to visit me last week and then we started "officialy" dating a few days after that. i won't really get to see him that much but thats ok...i'm happy.  hes 22...a youth pastor and does construction and yeah hes just great.

its midterm time and the week before a short break so i have a TON of stuff to do. two major midterms which are going to be really hard. have to have proverbs 3:1-12 memorized for a quiz in OT tomorrow, 3 quiz things due mon for the same class, a reading report due for the same class monday, gym night with the church kids tomorrow, meeting with pastor and other leaders saturday, then work then study then a meeting with the new youth pastor that evening, kids church on sunday and have to meet with my partner to prepare for a presentation a couple times. then i'm a leader at a kids overnighter thing at church wed. craziness!! 

oh heh i've also had a lot of asthma problems had to get a breathing treatment two days ago at the hospital...and apparently i have really bad acid reflux problems too which isn't fun at all....on top of the headache that i've had for a year and a half now its not very much fun. but life goes on and all i can do is keep on going with it. :) 

and now i need to get back to my studying before gilmore girls with friends and then a concert. bye :)

so i haven't really been around much and haven't updated in awhile so i figured its time to update a little bit. i have a very busy semester...12 credits class, homework, leader in youth group on wed nights, leader in kids church on sundays, work 4 days a week, sleep, and find time in there somewhere to hang out with friends. crazy. but its good. i have 3 roommates...one of them is my best friend kaisha from last year...two are freshmen...one is never here and but is nice and the other one is great we all get along. being the only room on the floor with our own bathroom is  GREAT i love not having to share with 30 girls. i had the flu for a week and that was not fun at all...it started wed night before church with a really huge headache...then i started throwing up at my pastors house after church and i was so dizzy and my head felt like it was going to explode...dan had to take me home early. i slept from 11 pm till 2 am. i'm better now...just still tired.

guys are confusing...thats all i have to say on that subject for now. yep.

ordering in chinese food with 8 friends and hanging out and is lots of fun. yay for chinese food. yay for crazy roommates. yay for all of my amazing little kids at church. yay for classes that i actualy enjoy going to most of the time.
umm i think its time for me to take a shower and get some sleep....or go bug my crazy roommates. see ya

so i am now in minnesota...yay. i had a 24 hour train ride. my first train someone walked out in front of the train at 6 am and got killed. it was crazy. the second train ride i sat next to this really cute guy and talked to him for like the whole 8 hour train ride...that was fun lol. anyways yeah its great to be in minnesota with my best friend kaisha and move into school on monday. thats about it. bye :)

today is my first day off in 13 days...yay. its been a crazy two weeks since i had to work every day and had a bad cold during most of those days...it sucks having to be friendly and cheerful and do a bunch of stuff when you feel like crap but thats life i guess :) in 10 days i get to take a 24 hour train trip to minneapolis and be back with all of my friends again yay. life has been interesting lately. i've been doing a lot of thinking...maybe too much.  sometimes i really just hate who i am...and i'm not exactly sure why. maybe its because of the way i was treated by people that were supposed to care. maybe i'm just too self-consious and for some reason have a very low self esteem. i dunno. maybe one day i'll get past this. yep yep...umm so yeah...i'm glad for the day off actualy two days off. got to come back to my hometown till this tuesday to spend some time with friends...heh right now i'm listening to their dog whine and howl and he is really annoying. thats about all i have to say for now.

so 19 more days till i get to leave mississippi and go back to minnesota. i'm excited. i have been doing nothing but work and sleep and hanging out at the bookstore. not having a car in mississippi kind of sucks. no such thing as public transportation around here to get you around...heh man i miss minneapolis! so i've been working 35 hours a week for the past couple weeks and i also had a bad cold which i am just now getting over...it sucked trying to work and be friendly and help people when all i wanted is my bed heh. but i made it...i made myself think of the fact that i needed the money to get back to school. i hope i can save enough to be able to afford the first couple months before my VA benefits start coming in. stupid government makes me wait 2 months to process paperwork every single year and its pretty annoying. they backpay me but that doesnt help me one bit during the first two months of school. but...God will get me through it...He hasn't failed me yet and i don't guess he will start now. but yeah thats my life right now...i so can't wait to leave mississippi. bye for now