crazy?
| sometimes i sit here and wonder if i'm crazy. am i crazy for letting myself continue to fall for a guy who lives all the way on the other side of the country who i may never actually meet? am i stupid to believe it could happen? i know it does happen...people meet online and end up in a relationship. maybe i'm scared because of what happened last time with that...i ended up finding what i thought was a great guy...dated him for 10 months but throughout most of the relationship i let him treat me like crap and he ended up being a jerk in the end. will that happen again? i don't know. i'm not entirely sure what i'm doing...we text every day, talk on the phone like two or three times a week. he actually sent me something for christmas and as soon as i wrap his stuff i'm sending him something too. he makes me smile...he cares...he listens when i don't really have anywhere else to go...he knows things noone else knows and he doesnt judge me. all i can do is wait. i hate being impatient. in other news...i have two take home finals to do and then i'm done with my semester. i have most of my christmas shopping done except for a few things i'm waiting to get when i get home and a few things i'm going to pick up at target this afternoon. tomorrow night me and the roommates and ameer (roommate's boyfriend) are all opening presents together so that should be fun. so we are shopping together the other day and going up the escalator at sears and i was peering over the edge of the escalator looking at something i saw on the first floor that looked interesting and i'm looking and looking and all of a sudden my head smacks into the plastic gaurdwall that kept my head from slamming into a wall instead...i felt like an idiot heh. it was great. i'm off to go start on my 13 page statistics take home exam now. adios. |
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Fleur on
You've got to have faith. I went through 'crazy' moments. But, will you ultimately regret having never put yourself out there for the possibility of something great? You will always have 'never know' situations; I find it harder not knowing what could have happened, than just risking it. Besides, I think you learn a lot more about a perosn when you are restricted to non-physical interaction. You're not crazy. Try not to almost chop your head off on the escalator anymore. I'm sure it's not helping your end of semester finals. |
